The saving power of nature.

Posted by on Oct 17, 2017 in Blog

Twenty years ago I was living in a suburb of Chicago. I was married and loved my husband and the life we shared. There was a piece of me that was not fulfilled or being expressed in my life, but I was content. Yet, I had an aching feeling that something was not right. Ultimately our marriage had to end. It was a painful break for everyone involved. I had no idea what was in store. I hadn’t painted for at least sixteen years. Going through a divorce and feeling displaced from my family and loved ones, I felt isolated and alone. I kept things together while my daughter was at home but as soon as she went off to school I walked upstairs to my 10’by 6′ studio to work. There among my paint brushes and paper I often found myself ruining my paintings with my tears. My heart was broken in a million places. I watched as the seasons changed and found myself comforted by a new awakening to the rhythms of nature. Often when I went to sleep at night I dreamt of birds. I don’t know why,  because I was painting portraits of homes for realtors. I sure wasn’t dreaming of houses. I loved birds but I wasn’t as in tuned to them at this point in my life. Some how when I awoke from these bird dreams I felt optimistic about the future. I kept getting these messages and they continued to grow. As I became more in touch with nature I closed myself off from people. Often my answering machine would have messages from friends saying, “I know you’re there. Pick up the phone!” I tried to see how long I could go without talking to anyone. Sad and alone I would run threw the ravines and see trees like I had never experienced them before. I started to notice birds in a heightened way. The presence of deer and fox showed up at my little bird house in the ravine as well. As I mourned the loss of what I left behind I was continually surprised by the gifts of nature. Families of fox made their den under my home year after year. I relished the sight of young pups scampering in my yard. The visions of dear, hawks and migrating birds were commonplace. I was in awe of a world that I previously had only been slightly aware of.

The changing of seasons welcomed new growth on trees, wild flowers and of course, a new migration of birds. As painful as this time was I realize now that it was also a blessing. Nature is always talking to us if we only stop to listen. I left behind a world that was often void of this awareness. I feel so blessed to see nature in a new way. I hope that I never have to feel as sad as I felt during those many years in isolation and I hope that I never forget to be aware of the beauty in this world. This time expanded my creativity. I started my company Uccellino and all of the things that followed.  I realize how very fortunate I was and how very fortunate I still am.